Having just had a powerful interaction with the spirit of my father, I found myself ready to more fully understand our connection in this life by examining the past life we shared at Versailles. During the first regression, I did not have enough time to fully explore that life and the healing potential within it. During my session, Leslie guided me into a deep state of relaxation and bade me connect with that life again.
I initially connected with the garden that I arrived in the first time. I quickly moved on and saw myself in the house wearing a greyish-blue dress with matching shoes with a beaded embellishment. I saw myself sitting and listening to a music box. It was made of metal and wood, and played very twinkly music. My mother gave it to me, and it made me feel vulnerable and sad. It made me remember the girl that I used to be before I was married. The girl I used to be was weak, in my new estimation, though I grieved her loss.
I then saw myself on my wedding night, dressed in white and sitting on the edge of the bed. My new husband had just preformed his duty, consummated the union, and left. I was alone, sad and confused. I felt betrayed and abandoned. This set the tone for the rest of our marriage. I came from a good family, and married into a good family; but, he never loved me and never wanted me. All I wanted was that love connection, to be heard, seen, and known. It was simply not available to me.
He stayed away from the house often to escape, to get away from me. I tried so hard to be someone he would love, to be a good wife, to be beautiful and pleasing. None of it worked. I became bitter, cold, and I began to lash out. I wanted him to feel all the hurt and anger that I felt. I wanted him to feel something, to acknowledge that I existed. Despite my efforts, he remained aloof, and we never connected.
I lost the girl that I used to be before my marriage to the bitterness, anger and rage. I stuffed her deep down, and only let her out when I listened to the music box. I lashed out particularly badly after those moments, feeling weak and needing to reassert myself. I was horrible to my servants and staff; I lashed out at them verbally and physically. I made them feel the feelings i would not allow myself to feel…worthless, afraid, unlovable, insecure, neglected. I did not have the capacity for remorse, as I shut that off in myself.
The abandonment I felt by my husband mirrors the abandonment that I felt of my father in this life. Leslie heard my father’s spirit apologize, not just for failing me in this life, but also for failing to heal the karma of that past life. Having come into this life before me, he was in a position of authority where he could have made me feel heard and seen. He did not, so I now have to love myself enough to allow for that growth on my own.
In order for me to heal, I had to forgive myself for being so awful to people who did not deserve it in that life. My higher self confirm that it was ok to forgive myself, as I did the best with what I had available to me at that time. I felt perfect understanding, and I saw the most beautiful intricately patterned golden light which healed like a balm. It burned away the tightness and sadness in my heart and solar plexus. All the self worth issues that I had choked down, all the feelings I would not feel in my past life, were present in this one. They followed me, because I did not deal with them then. Having acknowledged and released them, I feel so much lighter.
Leslie asked me to scan the rest of my body to see if there was anything else that needed healing. Since first regressing to this period, I noticed that I was swallowing much more than usual. I realized that I needed to heal my throat chakra, which held residual trauma from the guillotine. To do this, I envisioned my head back on my body, all the tissue knitting back together. It felt complete.
I’m so glad that I took the time to look deeper into this life. At first she just appeared to be a wildly unhappy woman. Now I know how she came to be that way. More than that, I was able to feel and work through those emotions. I feel like I have released so much, and that I have made a huge stride forward in embracing self-love and forgiveness, and allowing love to come into my life. In addition to that I have come to understand the karmic debt between my father and I.
Sometimes these karmic loops can be broken just by gleaning the wisdom from them. Looking into our past lives can help us to understand ourselves, our relationships, and how we interact with the world around us. It can provide invaluable insight into our lives, and provide deep healing opportunities.
If you feel the pull to recover some wisdom from your past lives, contact me to set up a session.
Holly Hart is a hypnotherapist & emotional wellness coach based in San Diego who conducts energy healing, hypnotherapy, and past-life journeying services.