Anger is a powerful emotion, and has a powerful effect on our lives whether we choose to process it consciously or not. As an active emotion, it is always being processed. Anger can catapult us forward in the direction of our choosing by to processing it productively, or it can pop up in unsuspecting ways that sabotage the life we truly want to be living by letting anger process itself destructively.
Five Ways Anger Sabotages your Life
1. Anger compromises your mental & physical health
Both angry outbursts and repressed anger are associated with heart disease, according to Dr. Chris Aiken, director of the Mood Treatment Center in North Carolina. Anger can also impact your immune system making you more susceptible to a variety of diseases. Additionally, anger is linked to mental conditions like anxiety and depression.
2. Anger creates setbacks in your career & finances
You may see the effects of anger in self-destructive behaviors that result in unrealized raises and promotions, falling behind on bills, feeling stuck in a job that you dislike, or even finding yourself unable to hold a job.
3. Anger puts stress on your relationships
Both romantic and platonic relationships are affected by how you choose to process anger. Due to the reflective quality of our reality, you may notice people in your life mirroring your passive aggressive, aggressive, or avoidant tendencies back to you. You may feel like you attract people who have difficulty managing their own anger in a healthy way, or you may find that unwanted distance is created between yourself and the people you want to be closer to.
4. Anger erodes your self esteem
Your self-esteem can take a hit when you repress anger, as your not being honest about your emotions can eventually erode the ability to truly trust yourself. Sometimes we push down our anger so far that we don’t even remember what we are angry about, or what to even label the painful emotion we have avoided feeling for years. If we no longer trust that we can find validation in ourselves, we start looking outside of ourselves for it.
5. Anger destroys self-love & hinders self-forgiveness
It is sometimes easier to recognize that we are angry at people or circumstances that have wronged us, instead of seeing underneath the outward-pointed anger, that we are actually deeply angry with ourselves. We sometimes choose to self-blame for putting ourselves in bad situations, for not heeding the warning signs, and for ignoring our intuition. When we are angry with ourselves, it can be difficult to feel like we deserve to love ourselves and accept love from others. Anger stands in the way of self-forgiveness, which begins the process of creating love again.
Now that we understand the insidious ways that Anger infiltrates our daily lives, what can we do about it?
Four Tips to Process Anger Cleanly
You can practice any kind of meditation you like, for however long you choose. Have 3 minutes in the car and want to visualize your energy centers balancing, cool! Have an hour for a guided meditation, awesome! Have 30 seconds to quiet the mental monkeys and breathe before walking into a meeting, perfect! The goal is to take time to slow down and breathe deeply.
2. Write it out
et that pent up anger travel down your arm into your fingers and get it out of your body. You can let the frustration flow in stream of consciousness writing, or you can write a letter (that you may choose not to send) to someone you are angry at.
The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a powerful tool to transform the way that you process painful emotions. It uses the energy systems that we have become familiar with from Traditional Chinese Medicine practices like Acupuncture, and provides a powerfully easy way to process the painful emotions that come up in our lives.
4. Consult a professional
If you’ve tried these (or other) techniques, and are still struggling to find the resolve that you desire, it may be time to reach out to a professional that can help guide your healing process. Hypnotherapy and energy healing techniques can be very effective at discovering and releasing the roots of the anger you carry.
There is a direct connection between our emotions and our physical and mental health. Learning positive, productive emotional responses is the key to a happy healthy life. The control is in your hands; you get to choose how the next chapter of your life unfolds. Choose to create something wonderful for yourself!
Holly Hart is a hypnotherapist & emotional wellness coach based in San Diego who conducts energy healing, hypnotherapy, and past-life journeying services.